I’m 35, I saved aggressively throughout my 20s and I feel like I missed out. How do I find a better balance?

Even after all that effort, Laura is starting to second-guess the years she spent saving. She wishes she’d taken more trips, gone to those concerts she turned down, and allowed herself to be a little more carefree. It feels like everyone around her ended up in a similar financial spot — only they also got to enjoy their 20s. Now she’s worried she played it too safe and missed out on a lot of great memories.

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Changing the balance in your budget

Laura can afford to add more joy and spontaneity to her life, and she’s earned it. But it may be hard for her to change her ways. She could consider changing her budget to ensure that it includes room for her wants, not just her savings and expenses. An example of this strategy is the 50/30/20 budget, which allocates 50% for needs, 30% for wants and 20% for savings.

For a saver like Laura, 30% on wants may be too big of a jump. She could also consider the 70/20/10 budget plan, which allocates 70% to living expenses, 20% to savings or debt and 10% to discretionary spending.

She could also decide on a bucket-list item that she wants to spend on, and then break down the cost, over six months, for example, and build it into her existing budget. Whatever she chooses, making a decision and factoring it into her budget will help her learn to loosen her grip on her spending, and start enjoying the life she’s worked so hard to achieve.

Social media mirage

Laura’s peers may appear to be fine financially, but according to Experian, the average debt Americans carry has reached $104,755 as of mid-2025. (2) Remember, people post the things they want you to see online, like vacations and dinners out, but they’re not posting about their credit scores or high-interest credit card debt.

Since Laura is so good at saving and following a plan, by factoring joyful experiences into her budget, she can easily follow a new plan that she sets for herself. A plan that includes fun is still a plan, after all.

Taking the same regimented approach to saving as to spending, she can be sure to enrich her life with the experiences she finds valuable. It may seem counterintuitive, but she already has the skills in place — she just needs to change her goal.